is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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