Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
