Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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