Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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