i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
