quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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