I could have mohawked her pubes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
