She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
