____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
