but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
