ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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