I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
