Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
