no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
