Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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