worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
