If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
