Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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