I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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