She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
