I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
