Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
