He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize