Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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