Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
