Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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