I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
