what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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