We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
