moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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