And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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