I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
