She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
