Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
