For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
