You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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