Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize