i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize