I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Randomize
