I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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