I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
