i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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