My nipple is on Facebook.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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