This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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