I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
