Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
