Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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