i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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