after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
