If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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