you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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