I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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