so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize