I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
