we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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