You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
