am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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