Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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