if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
