Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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