Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
