i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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