I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
