Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
